Velociraptor Awareness Day

18.4.11 – 4:30am

Early mornings are not generally a good time for me, I never plan on waking up at a time during my brief respites from University work, I simply lumber out of bed like a beast, and see to the needs of Commander Vimes, my pet tortoise.  This day was different however, the 18th of April, at first I thought nothing of it, until the day began to unfold around me.

— Entry 1 —

As usual, when the Day came round, I was barricaded in my basement, spear at the ready, the windows to my house boarded up and all light and sound muted.  As most of you know, Velociraptor Awareness Day came about as a result of the Velociraptor incursions into our land, started over 300 years ago.  For one day every 10 years, the Velociraptor gangs sweep aside any defences we might have put in place and hunt together, the most deadly attack force in the world.


It took me only 12 minutes to get from lying on my bed, to standing in front of the commanders barracks, an open topped wooded box approximately a meter by 2 meters, housing not only the tortoise living quarters, but a swimming pool, training course, self catering kitchens and personal sun bathing area.  Rise through the ranks to Commander and the perks of the job start to become noticeable.

— Entry 2 —

No one has been able to stand against them, this merciless foe. They come in force, born with all the equipment they will ever need, serrated teeth, sharpened claws on all four limbs, extra powerful leg muscles and a hollow boned skeleton which allows them to jump distances up to 9 meters. This powerful arsenal has been supplemented by mounted units, Velociraptors riding all manner of dinosaur, Triceratops as battering rams, Brachiosaurus as breaching ladders and Stegosaurus as armoured troop transport… Truly we are the prey in this.


And so I stared at the sleeping tortoise in front of me, slowly noting the lack of light, caused by there being no sun shining through the window, which in turn was caused by the fact that it was still only 5 in the morning. I considered going back to bed then, however I quickly dismissed it as an excuse to do nothing, and so flicked the switch on the kettle and stood in the near dark, awaiting critical kettle mass.

— Entry 3 —

I dedicated my life to finding a solution to the Velociraptor problem, studying their tactics and tools, arguing reason for their aggression, developing weapons to use against them, but for nothing. There hasn’t been communication with the rest of the world for over 20 years… We are all that is left.


Sat in the front room, cup of tea in hand, last nights cake in the other, the mind begins to wonder. Thoughts of the evening passed flickered through my head, the fear still lurking in the background. Did I have anything I desperately needed to do? Had I put something off that I could no longer deny? Can I afford this months rent? These questions would have to be answered, but only after tea.

— Entry 4 —

There had been hope once. I am told that when they first emerged we had been a great empire, oppressing other Humans there was so many of us. Ships of wood and steel soared through the oceans to other continents, buildings as high as the sky shone in the sun and Industry, destructive and bold, Industry led Mankind into the future.


“Maybe I should have a shave” I thought. My beard had grown longer and my moustache had grown back to a point where I could see it under the rims of my glasses. I knew I wouldn’t be bothered enough to, but I sat there entertaining the idea. I decided that I couldn’t be bothered, and so I sat in the dark for a while longer.

I must have dozed, as I awoke to sounds of shattered glass and general chaos coming from the kitchen…

— Entry 5 —

The industry giants had dug too deep. They had drilled to the very centre of the Earth. This displeased the Gods, forcing them to emerge from their long sleep in the abyss, to exact a terrible punishment upon Mankind for its foolishness.


…Which I decided to ignore. I told myself it was just the cat, and getting up would mean I would have to deal with the mess, so instead I decided to put on some music. Long have the neighbours been pleased with my playing of Bebop style jazz in the early morning, or indeed at other times of the day. Not knowing them, I didn’t care.

— Entry 6 —

They had first appeared in Mexico, seemingly everywhere at once. Over that one day they had swept across the Americas killing millions. After few where left, the Government in their infinite wisdom, decided to stop the threat once and for all. They used their weapons of mass destruction to obliterate not only the Raptors, but the remains of American civilization. The night ended then and nothing of the Raptors was seen or heard of for 20 years.


I thought back to the day before, having received an old storybook written like a diary, in the post. Not knowing who sent it, I set it aside and forgot about it, until this point. I picked it up and began flicking through the pages, absorbing the story as I went. The book held a story of the fall of Humankind, as well as detailed information on the strengths and weaknesses of a Velociraptor…

— Entry 7 —

The next attack was on Africa. We didn’t even know about it until three days after it had happened. One minute people where there, then they weren’t. The third attack was met with some small resistance at least… We managed that catch one alive! We ran many tests, trying to figure out how to stop these attacks, and now with most of Russia gone quiet to our hails, we knew we where being systematicaly eradicated. The tests yielded some unexpected information on the enemy, which I will list in the Velociraptor Safety Training section.

Only after the tests did we discover truly what we where up against.


It was only after I put the book down and went for another cup of tea, that I noticed three fully grown Velociraptors looking through my fridge. Noticing that they where between me and the kettle, I was annoyed, but I decided it would be unwise to challenge all three. Quickly stepping to the cellar door, I descended into darkness and hopefully safety. I remember thinking to myself, that it was a good job that my house had a cellar, unlike so many other new builds. Sitting down on the cold floor of the cellar, I pondered my next move.

–Entry 8 —

Upon death, the Velociraptor appears to die, however it becomes completely reanimated over the next 6 hours, becoming an even more aggressive foe, half Raptor, half Zombie. Although out manoeuvring these beasts was made significantly easier due to their slowed movement and reactions, they where no longer afraid of fire, and required a blow to the head to even slow.


Having considered my next move, bludgeoning my way to the kettle, I picked up a handy piece of lead pipe and made my way to the door. Abruptly I sobered up, and realised what trouble I was in. Going back to the book, and reading more would be my best chance of survival.

–Entry 9 —

Another shocking development, one of the assistants was bitten by the caged Zombie/Raptor and immediately began showing signs of serious illness. He was isolated in a sickbed and monitored for any abnormal readings, that was until he broke free of his restraints and ran off into the distance. Three of the guards gave chase, but none came back.

Later that day, there where reports of all 4 of them breaking out of the centre and running into the hills. Similar encounters showed us that in the Zombie state, Raptors can infect Humans with a virus that cause most higher brain functions to cease, forcing the unwilling Human to become, like them, Undead.

To be Continued


About opinionatedalex

Less opinionated than one might think.
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